WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY... > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT > >>> >MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE > >>> >PLEASANT > >>> >AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME. AS IT > >>> >TURNED > >>> >OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >

I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER. > >>> >MY > >>> >KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE > >>> >OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT. > >>> >

AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY=JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, > BOSS, > >>> > > >>> >HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD > >>> >REMEMBERED. I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR > >>> >AND > >>> >SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR > >>> >BIRTHDAY, > >>> >LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME." > >>> >

I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. > >>> >LET'S > >>> >GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. WE > >>> >DINED > >>> >INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS > EACH > >>> >AND > >>> >I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY > >>> > > >>> >ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID,

"YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A > >>> >BEAUTIFUL > >>> >DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"

RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO =YOU HAVE IN MIND?" > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."

> >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE =TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF > >>> >YOU > >>> >DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO =THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE > >>> >RIGHT > >>> >BACK." > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >

"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.

SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A =COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT > >>> >CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS > >>> >OF MY > >>> >FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL=SINGING

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY". > >>> > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> >

AND I JUST SAT THERE... ON THE COUCH... NAKED